Retro Boy - Part 2
After I turned down Retro Boy, he responded nicely and we parted ways. Honestly, I didn’t think of it again. Over the coming months I had other dates and a lot of personal change and I really did completely forget about him.
Until six months later when he emailed me out of the blue.
As I said before, he is a genuinely nice guy. I didn’t blow him off maliciously or harbor any ill will for him. He didn’t do anything nasty. So when he dropped me a line, I was nice right back. There was no reason not to be. We had parted on good terms, and he already knew I wasn’t interested in dating him. I figured it was an odd but friendly hello. And for a while, it was.
We chatted about our lives, I told him I had moved recently. It was nice. Just as I was starting to wonder exactly where he was going with all of this random small talk, he stepped up and told me. Or rather, he asked me out again.
Let me restate that in case you missed it. We went on one date. I turned him down for future dates. He disappeared. Six months later he reappeared and asked me out again out of the blue. Right. Just making sure you got that.
I was floored. I still didn’t want to go out with him, but that was a brand new maneuver I’d never seen anyone pull before. I sat on the email for longer than usual before replying. As I always was with him, I was polite. But I told him nothing had changed for me and I still wasn’t interested. And I waited to see what would happen.
What happened was exactly nothing. He fell silent and didn’t email again. I shrugged it off and assumed that was that. I felt a little bad that I had to reject him again, but giving him false hope seemed worse. I had done the right thing. Hopefully he was off finding a date with someone who thought he was the bee’s knees. And so I forgot about it again.
That was almost exactly six months ago. And there is a very good reason I remembered this story just recently. A reason I will surely give you…. tomorrow. 
Retro Boy
You know what? We haven’t had story time in a while. So let me tell you a story. This tale takes us back to over a year ago when I was just starting to seriously want to date again. This story is about RetroBoy.
RetroBoy earned his name up front from the pictures he posted on Plenty of Fish. He was neither attractive nor unattractive, but he had a Hawaiian shirt, Buddy holly glasses, lava lamp in the background kind of retro thing going on. It was a little endearing. Enough, at least to make me answer him when he emailed me.
As emailing went on, I made a classic mistake. He was silly and made me laugh. He signed off his emails with funny little rhymes like “Toodles Noodles” that made me laugh. When he realized I was amused, he would come up with a new one every time. I started to get excited about going out with him. I was looking forward to a date.
We all know that never ends well, right? Finally we managed to schedule a time to meet. I continued to look forward to the date and to think positive things. He continued to say things like “Later Tater” and me me giggle. All was well. Until, of course, the date.
Reality is rarely as good as hope would like us to believe. From the moment I spotted Retro Boy, I knew we were in trouble. First of all, he was skinny. Not thin, but skinny. Truth be told, even thin is not my thing, but skinny is rarely anyone’s. And this guy was skinny. He was all legs and arms and overly large hands, but no real substance. And his hair was not the retro gelled look I thought from his picture. Instead it was rather thin and oddly fuzzy. Still, I smiled and went into the restaurant with him.
He was also very soft-spoken. I learned that next as I kept having to lean over the table to hear him. We were in a crowded restaurant and his voice did not carry over the noise, despite the fact he was sitting right across from me. Despite this, he seemed to find joy in the smallest things. Retro Boy was obviously a very positive and mostly happy person. It was refreshing, but not necessarily what I wanted to find next to me in bed, you know? Unfortunately the remainder of the conversation did not work in his favor. Although he wouldn’t come out and say it directly, I learned that at 37, Retro Boy still lived with his mother. And it appeared to be due to the lack of money to live elsewhere. Oh yeah, this was just getting worse and worse. I obviously already knew that it was a first and last date with Retro Boy for me.
Still, the fact remains that this was an exceedingly nice man, and I didn’t want to be rude. So I made polite conversation, tried to pay for my dinner (which he didn’t let me do) and let him walk me to the car. When we got there I gave him a quick hug and headed off. Then I waited.
Because every One Date Wonder knows that what you do next is wait for the other person to show their hand. Especially in dating situations where you know you’re just not that into them, the next logical manuever is to wait for the other person to make a move. This is because the other person may also not be feeling it. The whole thing could conceivably die a natural death without the sort of painful gasping that having to explain you’re not interested may cause. So you wait. The other person may simply never contact you again, or may also express a disinterest. In those cases, you don’t need to take action or do anything painful. You can just accept their action and move on. Of course, sometimes they will express a continued interest, in which case you do indeed have to take action. Such was the case with Retro Boy.
A day or so later, I had an email from Retro Boy telling me it was the best date he’d been on in ages, he had a great time, and he wanted to do it again. I was out of town at the time, which he knew, so I had a small window to assemble some kind of reason why that wouldn’t happen. I thought and thought, but the bottom line is that despite my lack of interest, this was a genuinely good person and I didn’t want to hurt him. So I fed him some vague nonsense that did not specifically state that I would never be attracted to him. He said ok, and it was worth a try, and our email exchange ended. I promptly wrote off Retro Boy and went about my life.
Until six months later when I heard from him again. But that’s a story for tomorrow.
Filed under POF, retro boy | Comments (9)Possibly Again
Okay, so I started to try to write this all nice and cutesy like all the other Possible Prince tales, but I can’t be bothered today. Plus, some readers have mistakenly believed I’m trying to imply this guy I don’t even know really is princely. And while I appreciate all of the concern, I’m not making declarations about his character here. I just thought it might be cute for a change to have a fairy tale. So we’ll just call him PP now and I’ll write like a normal human being. Ok? Ok then.
Which, of course means that I’m talking to him again. Apparently PP stopped talking to me because he felt I was indifferent and wasn’t interested in pursuing a gal who could really take it or leave it. He seems to have come to this conclusion because I never placed a phone call to him. I know, I know…. it’s almost as if he’s never met me right? Wait a second… Anyway, after a careful explanation of how I can be a bit old-fashioned about some things in the beginning stages of knowing someone, we managed to set it right.
So after we both explained the mishap, we’ve been talking again. And, while I won’t swear to it, I think we may be going out sometime soon. He’s doing some crazy stuff at work so it can’t be this weekend, but we’re eyeing up some night next week. Maybe. Depending on work schedules.
At any rate, we’ve been talking this week and generally having a good time. He’s super tall, which I like. He laughs a lot, which I like. And sometimes he even snorts when he laughs, which just cracks me up. All in all, I’ve been having a good time with it and that’s what is most important at the end of the day.
So there you have it. Not a happily ever after, but not a disappearing hero either.
Filed under POF, possible prince | Comments (3)The Possible Prince
Once upon a time, there was a lovely princess. She had everything she needed in life except her prince. She searched high, and she searched low, but still the prince eluded her. In a final effort to find him, our princess turned to online dating. She posted ads hither and yon, but nary a prince was found. One day, despite her better judgment, she even posted an ad on CraigsList.
Much to her surprise a princely candidate answered this ad! In her excitement, she responded rapidly to his message and even sent pictures. But alas, our possible prince disappeared. Or did he?
Then one day, our princess was feeling blue over an unexplainable incident with the undead. She innocently perused yet another dating site, and lo what should she see but the possible prince! Did her eyes decieve her, or had fate thrown him in her path once again? In her weakened state, she contacted the possible prince and then she waited. And she waited. And she waited.
A whole week went by and our princess had all but forgotten about her possible prince. One morning, while innocently checking her messages, what should appear but a reply! From the possible prince! And so a slow motion email exchange began.
This went on fora week or three when the possible prince requested the princess’s phone number, which she gladly provided. But then a dark time set upon the kingdom and the possible prince disappeared yet again. A week went by and nothing. 4 more days passed…. and then, there was contact. The possible prince has been on vacation but promised to call that night.
The princess was skeptical. She eyed her phone warily but did not get excited. The night the hours wore on and her phone remained silent. The possible prince was nowhere to be found. And just as our princess was settling in to watch a new episode of House, it rang. The possible prince had called.
They talked, they laughed, they did not hang up for over an hour. Much fun was had. But eventually, the possible prince had to prepare for another day of work in his kingdom and our princess needed her beauty sleep. They parted ways with no date set and no promise of future contact.
The princess was confused. She slept on it and decided to email her possible prince in the morning and thank him for the fun conversation. And now she waits again.
Will the possible prince answer her email? Will he call again? Will he actually ask her out? Stay tuned for the next episode of….. The Possible Prince!
Filed under CraigsList, POF, possible prince | Comments (5)How NOT to get a date
Let me start this off with a few qualifying statements. I am a-okay with thinking outside the box. Creative types are fine by me. Not necessarily following a traditional career path in a perfectly straight line is wholly acceptable. Now that that’s out of the way, let me tell you a few ways you will most certainly never get a date.
Whining about your job.- Let me clarify here. Imagine we’ve never met. We’ve exchanged a few emails and now we are into IMing. You are clearly attempting to get a date as you are going to follow up this particular conversation by asking me out this weekend. But this conversation… this conversation is all about how you got screwed over at work. And how you want a new job. Now. I don’t know you. You’re supposed to be making me like you. And this is what you choose? Smooth move bud. Except not.
Whining about my job. - I have a job that is easy to make fun of. It’s true. There are all kinds of jokes out there about pointless bureaucracy in my line of work. And all kinds of stereotypes about lazy people there too. But to flat out tell me all of this when attempting to get me to go out with you? This behavior will not earn you a date. Jokes about your taxpayer dollars at work? Not funny. Asking me how I can stand it? Also un-amusing. If you can’t keep a lid on that crap, we aren’t going anywhere bud. And what’s worse, you have made me instantly regret my hesitant date acceptance a few minutes ago.
Living with your parents. - I’m sorry. I really am. I want to be open minded. I want to be understanding about the economy and bills and alternative career paths. But seriously, at this age you need your own pad. It doesn’t have to be impressive or huge or in the most uppity neighborhood. You can even have a roommate or two! Just so long as they aren’t named Mom and Dad. Because there is nothing less hot than waking up in someone’s place and saying hello to their mommy on the way to the bathroom. That’s all I’m saying.
Sometimes you just have to wonder what some people are thinking.
Filed under POF, advice, tales of woe | Comment (1)
