Things I Loved About Being Single
As I start to pack up my apartment and move into a new stage of life, I’m anticipating a lot of new things on the horizon. But, as always, there are things I leave behind. And one of them is my swingin’ single sort of life. So today, I will honor that life with a list. A reminder to myself of why this was good, and hopefully a reminder to others of the positives in a situation we so often find to be negative.
Things I Loved About Being Single
- Living alone – I’ll admit, I wasn’t so thrilled about this at first. And it certainly does have some downsides. But overall living alone is kind of awesome. I can walk around naked whenever I want and wear ratty comfy clothes without wondering how they look to someone else. I can eat weird nutritionally unsound meals and there’s no one to judge me. I can have ice cream for breakfast without funny looks! My apartment is decorated exactly how I want it and is perfect for me, and no one ever complains about my pictures on the walls, or my area rug, or why they can’t have their couch/desk/hideous floor lamp displayed. I am the master of the thermostat and no one ever complains about it. I only watch what I want to watch on TV and I never have to go into another room to watch it. I don’t have to be quiet when I get up in the mornings. I can turn on every light in the place at 5 AM. I go to the bathroom with the door open. I shower with it open too. My bathroom never gets humid and gross. And I never have to collect anyone’s dirty socks or underwear when it’s laundry day.
- Sleeping arrangements – I have never slept better in my life. I have a whole glorious queen sized bed all to myself. I don’t wake up in the middle of the night because someone’s snoring too loud. I don’t feel anyone shifting about in their sleep. There’s no other alarm to go off and wake me up when I don’t have to be up yet. The covers are just the way I like them. And I sleep like a rock every night.
- Social Obligations – The only social obligations I have are my own. I make plans without asking anyone. I don’t have to worry about someone else’s schedule or preferences. I don’t have to decide if they’ll be too bored. I don’t have to give anything up because I didn’t have to go visit Uncle Joe last year. I don’t have to make nice with anyone else’s co-workers (because frankly making nice with my own is quite enough sometimes). I don’t even have to make plans at all if I don’t want to. I can plan ahead by as much as a I want or as little as I want. I can accept last minute invitations if I feel like it, or refuse them without feeling like a stick in the mud. And if I want to make a date with my pajama pants, my couch, and the Lifetime movie channel, I can do that without anyone passing judgment. In fact, I can do it without anyone even knowing.
- Disgusting habits – I can clip my toenails in the living room. I can sing off key in the shower. I can pick my nose. And if the urge comes upon me, yes indeed, I can pass gas. I don’t have to apologize, or excuse myself, or even look around to see if anyone noticed. And if I deny doing it later (because I’m a delicate flower and I certainly never do any of that) there’s no one to call me a liar.
- Meals – I eat when I’m hungry. And when I’m not hungry? I don’t. And I have whatever I feel like having. And no one shakes their head, or complains because they don’t like it, or whines about being starved to death.
I could go on, but I’ll stop here. And yes, there are things I was not so fond of as well. But there is so much to be happy about and grateful for. So much so, in fact, that I almost didn’t want to give it up.
But in the end, all things must change and I am embracing new adventures. Hopefully they’ll live up to my expectations.
Filed under confession | Comments (10)Public Service Announcement
So I’ve been grappling over posting this for the last few days. Ever since I found out quite frankly. But I have written the tough stuff before and so I decided to write this as well. Hopefully someone can learn something from me putting this here.
I am a careful girl. I visit my girly doctor and have my lady parts checked out every year like clockwork. I even get tested above and beyond that. I use birth control and protection. And if I choose not to use protection, I make sure there is an honest conversation about the safety of that decision. I never choose to go without birth control. I monitor my own health and call someone if something is odd. You get the picture. I take care of myself.
So it came as a total surprise when this year, after said lady part examination, I got a letter from the doctor. Letters from the girly doctor are never good. If everything is okay, they don’t bother to talk to you again until next year. Letters only come when something isn’t okay.
So here’s the bottom line: I am HPV positive. Don’t panic it says. Everything else is normal, it says. But, you know, except for the HPV thing.
Here’s some fun information. HPV won’t show on any STD screenings. (In fact, it’s an infection, not a disease.) In men, there is flat out no way to detect it reliably. In women it can only be caught with your regular exam and only if your girly doctor screens for it which all of them don’t. Even those who do may only screen certain age groups. It’s not something they will immediately treat. It is something 50% of Americans have. There are 100s of kinds and no quick and easy way to tell which you have in most cases.
I have been in the age group for a while. My girly doctor just found it this year. That narrows my field for who could have passed that little gem on. To two people really… Big and LC. Furthermore, based on timing and general riskiness, all signs point to Big. Unfortunately, I can’t say for sure that’s the source. HPV can be latent for a period of time. People can get it and not present with symptoms. There is no way to be sure.
Of course, I had to tell them both. I told Big I thought he was the source. I also told him regardless of who the source was, he and all of his partners are now at risk. For him, it means not much. There are minimal risks for men. For them, it means a lot.
I don’t know if the HPV I have is low risk (may not do any damage at all) or high risk (may cause cancer). I don’t know if I have more than one kind. I don’t know how long I’ll have it. I don’t know if LC is infected now. I may never know these answers. Or I may find some of them out with time. But time is basically the only way to tell.
Here’s the PSA part of today’s program. The vaccine for HPV came out too late to help me. I was already too old. But it’s not too late to help our daughters. We can ensure they never have to go through what I’m going through right now. They don’t have to find this out and wonder. They don’t have to feel dirty. They don’t have to be at risk for cancer. Spare them from this and get them vaccinated. Give them one less thing to worry about in life.
Back to me. All I know right now is that I am HPV positive. I will have to tell doctors about this until I die. And I will have to ensure I am screened at least yearly for at least as long as it takes to go away.
And based on general symptoms and stuff, I am 95% certain this is the only thing Big ever gave me. He needs to shop at better stores.
Filed under Mr. Big | Comments (11)Planning Ahead
This is a snippet from an actual conversation LC and I had while debating moving in together last month. We were talking about how moving in isn’t just something that we will do lightly anymore and had established (for the 40th time) that it is something we would both do with the understanding that we intend for it to be permanent. Not just a right now kind of thing, but more of an until death do us part kind of thing. Without the ceremony. Or the big question. Yet.
Then out of the sort of blue, this happened:
Me: You know, I’ll want a big ring.
Him: That might take me a while.
Me: That’s okay. I can wait.
Him: Okay.
And then we carried on talking about other things. I really do love that man.
Filed under lucky charms | Comment (1)Stranger than fiction
It all started with an email. An email from Big. Two days ago he wrote to say he hoped a milestone in my life went well for me. Of course, true to form, he was over a week late which he knew. Why he chose to write one week and one day later is beyond me. It will always be beyond me. But he did. He sent an email.
Things went downhill from there. Despite all rational logic to the contrary, I wrote back. I just wanted him to know how well I’m doing. That he didn’t break me. That I found something better than we’d ever had. I know it’s petty, but there it is. The best revenge is living well, and I wanted him to know I had that.
So I told him about LC and I moving in together. That I was moving out of my beloved single girl pad. He knows this is something I never would have done for him. I wanted him to understand how good things are. How well it’s working out. Maybe I even wanted him to hurt just a little since it seemed he never did. Whatever, so I told him. And of, course, he wrote back again.
Filed under Mr. Big, lucky charms | Comments (11)Madness
And so the moving madness has begun. Now, you all don’t really know me so let me paint you a picture. Perhaps it will explain why suddenly LC is frightened of me when it comes to this move.
We applied at the apartment complex this past Thursday. So for those of you keeping track at home, that means less than a week ago. LC feels that as we have over a month until the move we have a few weeks to relax. But no, I am in moving overdrive.
As soon as we got into the car to leave the new apartment complex, I asked him if he wants to share my movers. He blinked at me confused. He wanted time to think about it. I blinked back at him. Because, you know, the movers need to be booked immediately because they can book up! And I need my movers. I assured him they’re great. Hard working and they have never broken or damaged my stuff. He was torn between finding me efficient and slightly crazed. And besides, moving to him meant a U-Haul truck and a few of his closest friends. I tapped my foot impatiently. He begged for time to think.
By Sunday, he had agreed that sharing the movers was wise. After all, friendship is only good for so much. I explained for me movers are a necessity. There is no one in this world who loves me enough to cart my giant sofa down from my third floor walk up apartment without getting paid in more than pizza and beer. He said he’d share the movers with me. By Monday afternoon they were booked and we had a confirmation letter.
I am ready to call the utilities. I am searching for boxes. I am pondering how to break the news to my cleaning ladies. (Let them see the boxes piling up, or warn them that our relationship has almost run its course? What if they clean less effiiciently because they know I’m leaving them? And how will I work the move out cleaning?) I have a plan for turning in my keys early to my rental office since we’ll be on Christmas vacation when the lease is up. I have lists of what goes into storage and what doesn’t. And I’m one step away from buying stickers so I can color code things for the movers. Oh yes, it’s like this.
LC didn’t see all that coming. He wanted someone to share responsibilities, but he never anticipated the crazy train he was hopping on until this is all over. This is why I had to know he really loved me first. Because otherwise he’d probably run for his life.
Poor LC. He hasn’t even considered how insane the unpacking situation might be. I tried to warn him, but he never saw this coming. Now who has spare boxes to give me?
Filed under lucky charms | Comments (9)
