What would you believe?
Random disclaimer: Written for a friend! Please take off your tinfoil hats. I’m fine.
What would you do if he said he wasn’t in love with you? What if he revealed this after countless “I love you”s? What if he said he thought he could be, that he thought he was heading to that place… but then he never got there? What would you do if after so much time together and in the middle of so many plans you had made together… if he said he loved you, but wasn’t in love with you?
What if it hit home? What if it explained things that had been at the edges of your mind? What if it made some things make sense?
What if you were head over heels for him? What if you had believed in the two of you… in a relationship? What then?
And then, what if he took it back? What if he said it was a mistake? What if you couldn’t believe it so you called him up and asked if it was really true, and he said no? What if he said he regretted it the moment it came out of his mouth? What if he said and did all the right things then? What if he charged at all those plans again full tilt? What if he said he did it because he thought you’d be happier without him? What if he said he never meant it?
What would you believe?
I don’t have the answers for this person. Just the hope that this may help her find peace.
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I actually had this happen to me. He said he loved me, we lived together. Then one day, out of the blue, he just came home and said that he couldn’t see himself spending the rest of his life with me and it was over. Just like that.
If he had changed his mind and taken it back, I wouldn’t believe. I think first thoughts are usually what they are really feeling. I think he felt bad he said, tried to take it back but really meant it.
I don’t know how to respond to these really since I’m a bit removed. I can only say that must’ve really sucked. Sorry to hear it.
I think your gut knows. If him saying he wasn’t in love with her, suddenly explained a lot and made some things make sense, then it sounds like she knew.
I wouldn’t believe him but I would agree with him that she would be much happier without him.
Unless of course she had panicked herself into creating those situations where they didn’t exist. (Hey, I’m just sayin’!) She does suffer from chronic indigestion though. Her gut might be confused too.
I’m usually a sniveling romantic rather than a cynic, but I know too well that men aren’t angels. (Not that women are.) I would believe that there was a shiny object that came into his orbit and then either he realized it wasn’t going to happen or found out something that made her less shiny. I hope she finds the strength to do what’s right for her. Neither staying nor going is looking easy or fun at the moment.
Your friend needs to walk away and never.look.back. If he decides he misses her and he was wrong about his assessment of whether he loved her, he needs to pursue her. Until then, she needs to believe what he just told her and move.on.
The thing is, he has been pursuing her hardcore ever since. I think maybe he scared them both. But still, I refrain from making judgment calls for her.