It only takes a few…
Let’s be honest here… in my little blog bubble, I live with mostly other bloggers. Of course we all have people stop by who don’t write, and follow us, and become parts of our lives. But the lion’s share of people who stop by here have a URL to leave in the comments section. And that’s ok. That’s how it is. Always has been. Probably always will be. But what it means is that the majority of us here understand what it means to publish online. And for those of you who don’t actually do it yourselves, I firmly believe my readers are smart enough to figure it out.
And so it is that it positively sickens me when some of the most basic rules of online etiquette are breached. I recognize that I make my words public. That the thoughts and feelings here are out there for anyone to read. And I’m good with that. That’s why I do it. And I understand that doing that also comes with certain risks.
But I guarantee you, no one who does this does it with the assumption that their words will be ripped off. What we share here may be public, but it’s also personal. And even if you manage to overlook the basic decency of that fact, there is a copyright right there at the bottom of every single page of this site.
So back to being sickened. This week I found out that I and several other bloggers who I respect a great deal, have been plagiarized. I will not be including a link to the site where this was found. There is not a shred of original content. It is our personal feelings, our stories, our lives, stolen and reproduced word for word as someone else’s. And if that’s not bad enough, this person had the utter gall to also place a copyright at the bottom of that page. As if they had the right to claim exclusive rights to our work.
I know this person has at least read this blog once. So let me tell you all something and hope they find it too. We are all also subject to Terms of Service of the hosts and services we use to publish these blogs. All of us, paid and unpaid. And all of those terms include copyright infringement as grounds to terminate your account without warning. So you may think it’s slick to rip off someone’s work and life that way, but your host may not necessarily agree. And you better believe I, and the other folks who were violated here, will take the two minutes to report it. It’s not hard to prove. It doesn’t take lawyers or court. It’s a simple online form and it’s obvious by the dates and words who is original and who is a petty thief.
My main takeaway is that copyright infringement may cost you your site. But secondary, understand that the violation runs deeper. That person reprinted some entries that were extremely personal to me. They were hard to write. They said a lot of things out loud that I may not always want to say. In one case, I cried over that entry. It is not only a legal violation but a personal one. And it was petty, unoriginal, and rather disgusting by the person who did it.
I will continue to post here. I will continue to share. And I will continue to hope that the trust I put in my readers is well placed. But this week I lost a little bit more of my faith in humanity. And I also reported someone for copyright infringement. I seriously hope you rot.
Update 11/3/09: Got an email from the host of the blog discussed in this entry. It has been removed for copyright violations. We won.
Filed under rant | Comments (15)Parking Lot Confessions
Him: So what do you think about moving in?
Me: (hedging) What do you think?
Him: I’d really like to do it. I miss you when you’re not around.
Me: (hedging some more)
Him: Just say it. Whatever it is.
Me: Moving in is kind of a permanent decision for me.
Him: For me too. I can’t imagine a life without you.
Me: (gooey eyes)
Filed under lucky charms | Comments (8)Trust
Trust is…. well, weird. It’s fragile. It’s easily destroyed. And yet it is the cornerstone of most relationships we have. That seems an awfully weighty job for something that breaks so easily. But then, trust is also up for individual interpretation. Some people trust easily and trust long. Some people never learn to trust. And some people switch between trusting and not trusting when a butterfly flaps its wings in China. Or something. And pretty much everything in between too.
Once I had a friend who I was just getting to know. They told me something important and confidential. I meant to help, sure. But the bottom line was that I blabbed. And to a very unfortunate person. Trust was lost. The friendship never really developed after that. Maybe because I broke the trust. Or maybe because I couldn’t let go of the fact that I did it. Maybe because I was overly sensitive of trust issues and just tanked the whole thing. Trust is just funny like that.
Trust in a romantic relationship is even funnier. For me, I trust slowly. In the beginning, I tend to believe everything is crap unless proven otherwise. I look for holes in the armor. I look for reasons not to trust. But eventually, at some mystical point, a man magically proves himself to me. And then there is trust.
At that point, once upon a time, there used to always be trust forever after. Unless there was some pretty hard black and white proof that there shouldn’t be. It used to be that from that point of trust, I would simply choose to believe what that man told me. Even if it didn’t always make sense. Even if I wasn’t always sure. Because he was my partner and I trusted him.
Of course, someone wrecked that. In quite a fantastic way. And now, well now I can’t seem to make myself believe anything anymore. If faced with a situation where something seems wrong, I will believe that. No matter what he says. No matter who he is. No matter how badly I hate being this way.
And is that really fair? Should every man from now until whenever really have to pay because one man shattered my trust all those years ago? Am I beyond believing my spidey sense and going with my gut and into ridiculousness now? Have I forgotten how to trust?
Trust is a decision. It’s a conscious choice we make with people in our lives. And sometimes, when presented with a situation, it’s right there staring you in the face. Do I choose to trust or not?
So my dears, it’s time for another question for you. How do you choose to trust? How do you choose not to? When do you start and stop? Talk to me about trust and how it works in your lives. Inquiring minds want to know.
Filed under question | Comments (9)What would you believe?
Random disclaimer: Written for a friend! Please take off your tinfoil hats. I’m fine.
What would you do if he said he wasn’t in love with you? What if he revealed this after countless “I love you”s? What if he said he thought he could be, that he thought he was heading to that place… but then he never got there? What would you do if after so much time together and in the middle of so many plans you had made together… if he said he loved you, but wasn’t in love with you?
What if it hit home? What if it explained things that had been at the edges of your mind? What if it made some things make sense?
What if you were head over heels for him? What if you had believed in the two of you… in a relationship? What then?
And then, what if he took it back? What if he said it was a mistake? What if you couldn’t believe it so you called him up and asked if it was really true, and he said no? What if he said he regretted it the moment it came out of his mouth? What if he said and did all the right things then? What if he charged at all those plans again full tilt? What if he said he did it because he thought you’d be happier without him? What if he said he never meant it?
What would you believe?
I don’t have the answers for this person. Just the hope that this may help her find peace.
Filed under question | Comments (4)
