That’s a very valid point. I guess I’m just a worrier and was trying to protect myself from the trouble if it did play out that way. But then, there’s always the fundamental truth of no risk, no reward.

I get the “this is my first living space” and its hard to give that up to move in together.

Hang in there!

It did scare me, but more because of other circumstances I’d been struggling with. Honestly we’ve been talking about it since and I feel calmer now. What he’s had to say about it since then rings very true and was very comforting.

I actually didn’t say a word about him not being into me. I just stated that the conversation concerned me. You might consider that this may not have been an isolated incident though.

So maybe, just maybe you are terrified of this move and looking for reasons to not do it?

Am I afraid of the move? Yes. Am I looking for a way out? No. Not moving never occurred to me until very recently, and I certainly wasn’t seeking out that path.

I’m just a chick scared of deluding myself. But yes, sometimes men deal with this stuff entirely differently than women expect them to. That is true.

Give it more time with him if you need to, to see if he gets more into you, but don’t move in together.

Besides, studies show that people who move in together are very likely to get married and then divorced, as opposed to couples who get married without moving in together.

It’s not as black and white as all that. I don’t know that he isn’t totally into me. I just don’t know that he is. Honestly, I don’t have enough info to make a choice here… about anything.

One thing to know – LC isn’t being FORCED into moving in with you, he is doing it because he wants to. He may not have the perfect words to express it, but his actions should be speaking louder than his words.

Much love Jane. Much love.

QT

I had a long response typed here, but it’s more than I want to say publicly. I’ll email you.

I’m not saying that waiting a year is bad. In fact, this post is not about doubts about whether or not to move. It’s about the foundations of our relationship. Moving isn’t in question here.

If you find yourself with questions about LC, then my vote (even though you didn’t ask for it) is to wait on the moving. I know that the choice is move now or in a year, but as you said yourself, because of his response, moving is not the fundamental question here. And with a question that big, why make such a radical change?

I’m not even worried about whether or not to move right now. I’m worried about whether or not to stay. With that looming, moving is not a decision to be made right now.

It’s move now or move in a year. I can only afford a 12 month lease honestly. But the real thing is how he feels about me. I mean, if that’s the sum total of how he feels, then moving is not the fundamental question.