Passions
“I think I already know how this will end.” he told me. I wondered how he possibly could, seeing as I have no earthly idea myself. But his eyes were sad when he said it and I knew what he thought. Still he went on to explain that he would take the risk anyway. That he was jumping in with both feet. That he was giving it his all. Even as he thought he was going to lose this battle.
We talked about our passion in life. I admitted I hadn’t really considered passions until a friend asked me once. She asked me what I was passionate about. I didn’t know the answer. And so I told him maybe the missing passion with us was because I don’t have any. Maybe I’m too cold and dead inside. He just looked at me.
And he told me about the passion in his life. He told me how it used to be just one thing but lately it was two. He told me about the passion he has for his job. About what it means to him and how it motivates him to get up in the morning. I smiled as I knew this about him. And then he told me about his second passion in life. His newly added motivation for everything he does. He said the other passion in his life is loving me.
I just stared at him, all mute and dumb. Loving me. Me who hurt him. Me who left him. Me who did everything he was always afraid of. Me. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t answer. What could I possibly have ever done to deserve such big love? What could I possibly ever do to be allowed to have that? How can I ever live up to all of that passion?
He knew I couldn’t answer. We stood there together in silence and he told me it was ok that I couldn’t respond. That he understood. And then he told me all about the risk he was taking here and now for me. All I could do was cry. He let me do that too.
How ironic. I gave up on him because we lacked that intangible passion and fire between us. And now, now that I’ve made other choices, other plans, and looked towards another life… now he gives me more fire, more passion, and more unconditional love than I’ve ever really known. I am humbled by it, and by him.
But the ending is still waiting to be written.
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I feel lacking in passion much these days myself. If anyone asked me, I would probably also have trouble answering. But follow-through has always been my weakness. but imagining being someone’s passion … wow. I couldn’t, in my current state, even imagine.
It’s staggering. And, I’m afraid, undeserved.
Never undeserved my girl. You, I, each and every wonderful woman on this planet DESERVE to be loved like that.
And the passion – one thing I’m learning now is that maybe there are different kinds, maybe it doesn’t have to be the ‘hot thrilling’ kind. Maybe the deep, safe, secure, love of another person is a kind of passion all in it’s own.
And I don’t know about you.. but I’ve decided to grab that love for all it’s worth and hang on. Passion schmassion – he loves me. Really, truly, deeply, UNCONDITIONALY loves me… what more can I ask for? <3
Passion is still an important part of a romantic relationship. I love my friends unconditionally too, but I wouldn’t marry them. It is what makes someone a romantic partner and not just a really great buddy.
You have some power here, you know. To write your own ending.
And you’ve never given yourself enough credit Jane, because it’s deserved. Don’t back talk me either on this one, because you can word warp your way around it as much as you want, but LC knows it too. It’s DESERVED.
Oh I know. I didn’t say I was waiting to see how it ended, I said it was waiting to be written. Have to make an ending first.
QT started to get at it – there’s no such thing as “the end”. “And they lived happily ever after…” No. LIFE KEEPS GOING. Relationships end, but sometimes it’s only ’cause someone dies. If you can love him like he loves you, or even if you can just let him keep loving you, then neither of you really has any idea where this is going. Scary, but really cool, too.
For sure. But there’s also the never tiny matter of Big.
I recently broke off a relationship because I did not feel any passion for this man. He was a fantasy of mine since high school, but when we finally did get together it was nothing like I thought it would be. Unfortunately, he felt the passion for me and now two months later is still texting me with stupid stuff. I feel bad for him, but won’t settle for anything less than a passionate relationship.
Inequality like that is always a tough situation to handle.
Damn. I thought you were talking about Big. Sorry!
No I’m sorry. That would have made sense, and yet, it isn’t the case.
I’m so lost here. We’re back on LC?
Well, it sounds kinda dirty when you put it that way.
Wow – what a passionate post!! First time here – but it drew me in!
Well, glad to have you. Welcome to my trainwreck!
all i can think of is lopsided passion. i hate being lopsided.
Now this has to be straight from a romance novel.
I assure you, it is not. It’s just my life.