Taking your advice
So, I while back I asked for your advice. And, like the lovely readers that you are, you came out to tell me what you thought. While I have not said much about it since then, I did listen. I’m usually pretty good like that. And last night I took your advice. LC and I had the conversation.
I promise you, I approached him carefully. There was a conversation needed about some general logistics first, so I led with that. Just basic stuff… you know… have you been tested, are we exclusive, blahblahblah. I thought the whole thing was going down right then, but that bit turned out just fine. (He is getting tested and we are exclusive, for the record.) Then since we were already on the topic, I asked if we could just stay there for a little bit. He balked instantly because he knew where it was going. But to his credit, he stuck with it. Sure we could talk about it, he said, but it isn’t his best topic. So we soldiered on.
I was gentle, and careful, and kind. I promise you. And he responded carefully, but honestly. We talked a little about his past. We talked a little about our present. We talked a little about what could be done. Honestly, it was a sad picture he painted for me. In the end, I finally just had to point out that if this was a resolvable issue, isn’t it worth trying to resolve? And he agreed to go to the doctor, get tested, and try to sort all of this out.
In the end, I took the time to make one more point. I made him listen while I told him that I am attracted to him and I want to be with him. I’m excited by him. And if this issue is something that can be worked through, I will try to work through it with him. I want to. And I’m here. He thanked me. And I promptly changed the subject.
This morning I still can’t believe I did it. I can’t believe the thing I dreaded is done and we are still intact. There are no promises as to where the future might lead, but for now… for this one moment, we are resting on the same page. I am relieved.
Filed under lucky charms | Comments (15)15 Responses to “Taking your advice”
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Good Girl! You are my hero for today. I’m sure that couldn’t have been easy. But it’s very important.
Yeah, I just about had a stroke in the middle there somewhere. But in the end, I’m glad I did it. It really was important.
I am so happy for you! I can only imagine the relief you’re feeling now that “the conversation” is over. You did the right thing. I’m proud of you, my friend.
(((hugs)))
Thanks hon.
Way to go girl! I am in similar situation and my guy said talking with me about it helps him feel more comfy and in turn improves the situation
Good luck to y’all!
Interesting! So your man said talking actually helps? I hope LC finds some relief in having cleared the air as well.
I am so proud of you!! Good for taking the step!
I love how the folks who really know me say they’re proud. You all know how hard this was for me to do.
Congrats! Just like ripping off a bandaid.
Quick like a bunny! (That’s what she said.)
and now that you’ve had that talk, you’ve established precident for difficult conversations – so hopefully all lines of communication are now wide open and future convos won’t be near as scary. congrats =)
I hope so. I also hope the affirmations that I do indeed want to have fabulous sexy time with him have eased something for us.
That is wonderful! Communication is a GREAT thing! I wish LC and you fabulous lovin’ in the very near future!
From your lips to, errrrrr…. LC’s ear.
I have to say I’m truly happy the love life is going well for one of us lol. You give me hope
<3 ya girl
I don’t know that it’s going well just yet. But it’s okay right now. The rest remains to be seen.
Woohoo. Congrats to you on doing it and building your self worth.
And hopefully his as well.
I’m really really SUPER proud of you! *CLINK* That’s my martini glass hitting my phone. *laugh*
I knew that sound was familiar! Like I just heard it last night or something.
I’m proud of you!
I hope the effort results in many “rewards”!
As do I!
Awesome for you! It was the only way to go so I’m glad you went there!
Of course, I am not privvy to the details here, nor all of the previous info, and you probably already know this…
But 9 out of 10 times, these issues are psychological, not medical. A psychologist, rather, even better, a sex therapist- would be the person most likely to be able to help.
Of course, rule out the medical angle. But if all checks out, then the man’s got to make an even scarier leap!
But with a lovely supportive girl by his side, now is as good a time as ever!
He’s lucky to have you.
And exclusive!! Wowie!
I don’t know how “wowie” it all is. I am reserving judgment at the moment. I hope he does ask the dr, even though I believe it’s mental for him more than anything.
Good job and good luck!!
Thanks.
I bet it’s nice to have that elephant out of the room! Good job!
I don’t know how he feels, but I’m much more relaxed at least.
Good job sister! Seriously, if anything I said helped you to have the conversation than I am happy to have given you my experience in this department.
Communication is hard BUT you can’t fix the problem if you don’t at least try to address it.
You did help, a great deal. I can outline how in a more private setting.