The Situation
I have dragged my feet on updating this week because of the situation. You know, the no kiss situation. I feel that since we now have gone three dates with no kiss, it is reaching critical mass. And I am stumped. I mean, yes I do refuse to make the first move. I will just put that out there. But in all my life, that has never actually been a problem. The guy has gone for it just fine. If anything, I have had to find creative ways to deflect those moves, but never have I found myself wondering where they were.
So, the bottom line here is that the guy still hasn’t kissed me.
Monday was another great date. We laughed, we talked, we had an amazing meal together. There was some encouraging casual touching. But at the end, there was a very nice hug with absolutely no kiss. I went upstairs completely confused. I had thought that surely, after such a good time, a kiss was forthcoming. And yet, I was wrong.
So gentle readers, imagine my surprise at what happened next! On Monday night, we made a date for Sunday afternoon. So I knew he still wanted to see me, which of course made everything more confusing. But as the week wore on, it became apparent that he was fishing for another date before Sunday. I played dense, he fished harder, and I finally called him on it. So we made a date for Friday evening, at his request. And when I asked him what he wanted to do, you will not believe what he said. He wants to watch movies at his place!
Now, any experienced one date wonder knows that movies at his place is not just an invitation for movies. It is always, without fail, an invitation to get naked together. I mean, you can be coy about it if you like, but really, think about it. In a dating context, any invitation for movies in is always made with the intention of sex. I am comfortable making that kind of blanket statement. I have been dating for some time now and have never, not once ever, found that invitation to mean anything but “let’s get it on”.
So how is it that someone who can’t even kiss me can so boldly head right to sexy town like that? I mean, do you think he just doesn’t know? Does he actually mean to show me how Bluray is superior to DVD as he claims? Could it honestly be that this invitation is made without intent to invade my pants?
I honestly don’t know that answer. I have accepted the invitation because I think it may be the only way this man will ever kiss me, as nothing else seems to be doing the trick. I decided I’m a big girl and can stop the action if it progresses too far (because honestly, I’m not ready for all of that just yet). But I really think that maybe my ninja-like deflection skills may be unnecessary here. How can a man who hasn’t even kissed me goodnight possibly go right for a panty raid like that? What say you?
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Maybe he just doesn’t want to kiss you for the first time on the front porch? Needs the privacy/comfort of his home to make a move? I would have jumped on him by now but that’s me.
Have a fun Friday night!!
Or in the car, as has been in the case? Let’s hope that’s all it is.
Having recently been through a similar situation, I’m gonna have to say he may very well be planning to show you the difference between DVD and Bluray. He may view you as a great “friend”……I sense a convo in your near future, oh wise one.
One thing I’m sure of is that I’m not misreading the big signs here. He is clearly into me… with constantly pursing more time together, flirtatious comments, and the other touching it is pretty obvious. If I’m wrong about that too, I will be shocked (and mortified).
He really may be completely clueless. Maybe he’s got pent up issues of being hurt. Maybe he’s a eunuch. Or maybe he just wants to respect you a little bit. Who knows? The best way to find out is just ask him. I mean if this evening concludes with no kiss then you really should ask him what the deal is. Not very romantic but at least you’ll know what sort of situation you’re in.
Oh dear…. he may really have some pent up hurt issues. There is something else about him I simply haven’t said here yet that still bothers me.
Well I can’t speak from the man’s point of view because it’s become pretty apparent that I have no clue when it comes to reading them, but as for me – a very UNexperienced dater lol a movie at the house means exactly that.
Although I did have a guy that I’ve been talking to for a bit call me monday and say he wanted to come and ‘hang out’ and watch a movie Sat night after he got off work. If me and your boy shorts here are the only people left on the planet for who ‘movie’ means ‘movie’ lol then I may need to have a talk with the Puerto Rican before he comes over – or decide not to have him come over at all!
I’m emailing you. Don’t you dare let a stranger into your place. No matter how long you’ve been talking. That is a cardinal online dating sin. Nothing good will come of it. Trust me, please.
PS.
I’m so bummed I’m not on you blogroll =(
That is because I suck and haven’t updated it in eons. I just added you and have now been reminded to do some maintenance on it soon. Was a clerical type oversight only, I promise!
Hopefully he has a big plasma unit to show you. In all honesty I’m not quite sure you’ll do anything more than watch a movie. No kiss to jumping in the sack is a big jump and kind of a red flag. Is there no middle ground?
While “big plasma unit” sounds totally dirty, I’m pretty sure you mean a TV in which case I believe he does. And there’d best be middle ground or I shall create it. There will be no naked tomorrow night.
I’m curious what it is you haven’t share with us about him. We need all the facts to make a fair analysis!
I think he has baggage, he disagrees. I’ll post about it once this little situation has passed.
Still laughing. Three dates, no kiss. That has to be some sort of record. Good luck Friday night.
I’m thinking it’s a pretty safe bet he won’t be running for the end zone. Here’s hoping he at least gets a first down!
I hope you’re right about the end zone. Not sure what a first down entails so I’m going to be a lady for once, and ignore that.
I KNEW IT! He’s got baggage, probably big time. It’s affected how he sees dating and the women in general.
As your resident douchebag, badboy, I advise you to be careful because you will without doubt end up disappointing him after he’s disappointed you and he may not take it well.
Allow me to explain…
He’s got you on a pedestal.
Not that you shouldn’t be treated like the queen that you think you are (haha! joke)… buuuut, you don’t come off to me as someone that has the patience and attention span to deal with well uber nice guys.
And that’s what I think this guy may be. A clueless, super nice dude that is afraid of taking a risk by doing something dirty like… gasp! A freaking peck.
I really doubt that he’s thinking sex is even an option at his place at the moment. Honestly, you’re 150% in control of what happens, which actually sucks. You want to feel assured that HE IS into you (he is btw), and that he can at LEAST be kind of mischievous and fun.
He’ll probably put on the movie, and his biggest move for the night is going to be holding your hand in his sweaty palm for two hours. Yawn.
The thing HE doesn’t realize is that you can’t go from 0 to Hero with him, but he’s gotta get the motors at least started!!
What’s he thinking?
He’s thinking he better not fuck up a damn thing with you because he would be mortified if because he tried some sexy-time move, that you’d think of him as a douchebag like me.
ODW, he’s trying really hard to be “different” and when you finally get fed up this nice boy act, you’re probably going to leave him and he’ll go back to fuming about why women are this or that… how could you just drop him when he’s spent so lavishly on you, his time, his cash, how he listened to you and how he NEVER laid a hand on you in a lascivious way… all that good chivalrous stuff he’s been brought up to think is the appropriate way to courtship.
And that’s where I think you ought to be a little careful. I’d say give him a chance if you like him… but if he ain’t turn your switches on, you may want to make an speedy exist soon… he may not take the “break up” so well.
The funny thing here is that despite all our differences, you have hit uncomfortably close here. You’re right, I won’t have patience for the ubernice deal. Nice is good, but intestinal fortitude is still required. And if he doesn’t get out of the gate soon, he will unintentionally find himself squarely in the middle of the friend zone. And my only comfort will be that I picked up the check once or twice so I might not be all that bad.
Dare I say he’s gay?
Remember the episode of SATC when Charlotte is dating the gay guy? He seemed to be the only one who knew he wasn’t gay.
Just a thought.
#1
He seems pretty straight to me. Plus his ex-wife would probably confirm heterosexuality.
Or in honor of the ALCS.
He probably won’t swing for the fences but at least a ground ball.
No?
How about?
He won’t hit a home run. Here’s hoping he makes it to first base. Maybe even tries to steal second?
Hey now, I’m trying to behave. Let’s just aim for the kiss. (Does that count as a base? I’m so out of touch sometimes.)
Hmmm…overly shy in the physical contact department? Romeo (via IM) was very clear of his intent to kiss me upon first seeing me…however…I ended up making the first move…several hours later. (His claim: “I was being a gentleman.” when I believe truth to be, he was genuinely not sure if I would be open to it.)Come to find out, we were BOTH biting at the bit… Granted, 3 dates is considerably longer…but maybe he’s not sure you’re wanting it. I say if you wanna kiss him…just take the initiative!
Heh, you can say that all you’d like… but I still am not going to do it.
I left a comment on this…but it’s nowhere to be found. WTF?
Not sure? It’s not caught in the spam filter either. Care to share your thoughts again?
Wow! THREE dates with no kiss? I can see two, but THREE?! Maybe he does need the “home field advantage”. And yes, first base is kissing. I need a guy to make the first move, too, and ultimately want one who can take charge while still giving a damn about what I want. Good luck tonight!
You thought three was bad? Try FIVE. The “home field advantage” got me a kiss alright… on the cheek. Seriously.
I have a friend like that. He doesnt act in that manner because he is not interested, but because he is too shy. So maybe your guy is painfully shy and doesnt know how to read body language.
Well, then that will be the death of him for sure.