A) “He’s not that attractive enough to persue a romantic interest because amoung other things, he’s kind of short and that bothers me.”

OR…

B) “He’s attractive enough in other qualities that I don’t really care that he’s not my prefered height.”

From when you posted this, you were thinking B because the date went rather well. Since then, you may have changed your mind. That’s your perogative, I’m not making an point of that.

Actually, as I clearly have said here, I’m not sure how I feel about it. I have yet to make up my mind. There has been absolutely no change.

But claiming that there was nothing he could have done one way or the other, I completely disagree with.

You may disagree all you want,. however why I make a decision is not up for debate. You will still be wrong.

We don’t live in vacumes or silos. Its the interaction you had with him that weights in the most and what will most likely influence your decision about him.

I tell my guy friends to be fun, be confident, be postive, be decisive, don’t be needy, don’t complain, don’t be negative, find that passion for life and go for it… and women will find you more attractive.

Those aren’t clever tricks. That’s just how it works.

That would have been good advice had it stopped there. But making jokes about my height was one of your gems of advice on how to make me more comfortable. That would have been cocky and obnoxious and had he done it, he never would have gotten another date. Good thing he didn’t.

“Women… tend to be more”

Please note the carefully placed qualifying keyword. Nothing is ever, entirely an absolute. Your point taken nevertheless.

Wishy washy wording doesn’t save you here.

2. Wait a minute. You’re claiming there is nothing at all he could possibly say or do to convince you, internally, that height isn’t such a big deal. Is that right?

Well, then if that’s the case, then why did you go out with him to begin with? Its not like he was going to grow a few extra inches over dinner.

You didn’t listen to what I said. I said, only I can change my mind. Not that it couldn’t be changed. The point was that any of your little tricks would have been pointless, and probably would have been more likely to send me packing.

3. My philosophy on life tends to be a little more forgiving. Not all double standards are created equal.

Which is a wishy washy way of justifying doing whatever you’d like. As long as it works for you, don’t let me interfere.

I’m going to state this boldly, and probably get some hatemail for it, but in persuit of the truth I am willing to sacrifice my gmail account!

Here goes…

Women… tend to be more forgiving about physical traits, then men.

THERE I SAID IT!!!

I can picture the “see I told you so eyes” from One Date Wonder. But common, that’s painfully obvious in modern day society. There’s nothing new here. We all know this don’t we?

Look at your own experience here.

You went out with a guy (twice?) that you have, let’s say not exactly a dealbreaker but rather an anti-perference for his height.

And yet, something ELSE about the guy attracted you to him enough to give him a chance to take you out on a nice date.

Did the date go well? If you’re giving him a second chance, I presume well enough.

But then you post this thing about your perferences, and you get a litnany of responses from your readship agreeing with you that height is a bigger deal, excluding notable exceptions.

Uh oh, I just saw this dude’s chances drop faster than the stock market. Because frankly, here’s my other Deline-ism… ready for this?

Women… tend to operate from a more “general consensus” point of view.

OMG! WTF!! What’s that suppose to mean? Means you’re more likely to do what your friends say you should do then I would (I’m a guy, yes, its true).

I KNOW!!.. it’s awful.. how I can talk about women like this?!? I mean what is this guy saying right?? Well, I can tell you its generally NOT what my other goofy guy friends typically say about women. But this blog isn’t about me…

This short guy? At the end of the day, he didn’t do such a good job on your date. It was HIS fault that this tiny “elephant” in the room didn’t disappeare.

I wasn’t there, but I’m willing to wager that himself made the issue of his height by TRYING to pretend it didn’t exist.

Had he really not cared, had he really been comfortable with himself, regardless of what you thought about the heigh issue, thus in turn… making you comfortable that its NOT such a big issue… at least not in his presense… would we have seen this post?

Be honest! I was.

Doublestandards. We all got ‘em, to one degree or another.

D

Now let me outline all the ways in which you are wrong:

3. I hesitate to say I don’t have *any* double standards, but I will tell you my philosophy on life is to abhor them. And when I detect one in myself, instead of celebrating it, I strive to eliminate it. Said philosophy would not hurt your life any, for sure.

The rest of you all… uhm… work on it!

So then you have absolutely no physical preferences or dealbreakers in the women you date? I find this excessively hard to believe. I smell a double standard, and it’s coming from your direction.

Well.. first off.. me? I’m 5′10″, AVERAGE as average can get. What do I prefer? I like women of all sizes, in fact, if she’s taller than me, I rather her be REALLY tall, as appose to only a little bit taller.

Why? It’s fun! I like night clubs, bars, whatever, and it’s FUN as hell to roll in there with one of my current GF’s. She’s blond, 5′11″ without heels. So imagine what she looks like in 3″ heels? Super tall.

Yes, it’s a “check me out with the tall hottie next to me” kind of thing juvenile fun… and?

The fact is that most women would prefer a taller man, but given the right set of “other” attributes, height gets mitigated.

Sorry to hear OneDateWonder that you had this short guy date issue. Clearly to me, it sounds like you guys weren’t having a blast (nice dinner? doesn’t sound like a fantastic time, just sounds like…eh) … eitherway, it’s his fault.

Ignoring “the tiny elephant in the room” is an example of how not to lead as a man. He should have been right up front, probably busted your chops for being amazonian (clearly not true) and just moved on from it. Hell, one of my closest friends who’s 5′6″, short but any standard for a guy, has developed a healthy dose of napolean complex and he’s the first to admit.

You wouldn’t ever feel uncomfortable around him, becuase his personality is incredibly charming and exceedingly confident from the norm. And therein is the rub…

All you ladies would relax your “height” rule in a second, given the right set of alternative charming traits.

Any of you short dudes reading these ladies comments… trust me, its not a set in stone, none of it is.

D

P.S. I love this blog for some reason. I haven’t quite put my finger on it.