Does size really matter?
It is the age old question. Men ask, women hedge. No one can seem to answer and look directly in your eyes as they do. But We have all realized that there are very few limits on what I will share here. So I’m just going to say it. Yes. I DO prefer for a man to be taller than me. Now it’s out in the open.
What? What did you think I meant? Pervs.
Back to the subject at hand. This is very timely for me right now as I have recently been out with a man who is exactly my height. Now, let me be straight with you. I am not a tall woman. I’m definitely not a midget, nor do I get regularly mistaken for one of the wee folk. But I am not tall. And not being tall has served me well. I may need a step stool to get things out of my own kitchen cupboards, but at least 95% of the male population of the world is taller than me. That makes dating automatically easier than if I were say 4″ taller than I am. The point here is that being taller than me is no great feat. It’s common. And while I like my men to be on the tall side, I will usually settle for simply taller than me.
So it was with great trepidation that I accepted a date with a man who is exactly my height. He was totally up front about the height situation. There were no surprises and no exaggerations. He was exactly as advertised and right on eye level with me. Truthfully, I was kind of glad to sit down over a meal where the situation was less obvious.
Being on a date with a shorter dude is a study in ignoring the tiny elephant in the room. We did not talk about it. In fact, there was almost no mention of such things. Right up until I started avidly describing a situation in which I feel like a tiny little midget. Usually this tale is greeted with lots of laughter. Instead I got a weird look, an awkward silence, and a tiny “I know.” Ooops.
Still, I would like you to know I was open minded. We actually had a nice date and great conversation. I believe we may actually go out again. I suppose it’s a really good thing I don’t care for high heeled shoes very much.
But I would like to know, dear readers, what it comes to the issue of size…. I mean height… where do you stand?
Filed under lucky charms, question | Comments (22)22 Responses to “Does size really matter?”
Leave a Reply
I want my man to be at least 5 or 6 inches taller than me. I’m only 5′3 so I figure this isn’t asking too much. My ex was about 5′10 the last man I dated was about 5′9 and that’s fine. But I did go out w/ a guy who was 5′6 and that was just too short. If I wear heels I’m as tall or taller and that doesn’t work for me.
Size, well height, never has really mattered to me. I do like a man with some meat on his bones, though.
I prefer guys to be taller. I’m 5′5 and a HALF tyvm and prefer guys to be at least 5′8. Preferably 5′9 or 5′10.
I’m not much of a heels gal either so even when I do wear them a 3 inch heel would be pushing it, so with a guy as short as 5′8 we’d just be the same height.
But for me it’s more about how we fit together. With a taller guy, your head fits on his chest just perfectly with his chin resting right above your head.
When you kiss you have to tilt your head up just a little and he leans down and… sigh…
I really hate being single – =(
I’m 5′2″. Ok, just under. But everyone thinks I’m 5′5″. Even when I’m not in 3″ heels, which I love. I don’t like dating men under 5′10″, and won’t date men under 5′8″. I’ve tried, in the past, broadening that number, opening my mind, etc, but I just don’t like short men. I’ve learned this about myself. I like my men to be 6′-6′4″.
I honestly think that size and personality go hand in hand. And I like my men tall.
I’m 5′9″. My ex-husband was 5′7″. Since my divorce, I’ve only dated taller men and I think I prefer it. Still, I put on my online dating profiles that I will take anyone 5′7″ or taller. No need to be mean. My dating adventures have also, however, taught me what the big deal is about “size”.
I always thought my ex was great (and the ones before him were similar) and then I started dating and found out that there is a much wider range out there. Who knew?!? Too bad you can’t figure that out ahead of time. Sorry guys.
I am 5′6” but FEEL taller for some reason, even though I never wear heels. I would say I would date a guy my height or taller. I have date shorter, and it was fine, but it’s not my preference, and I probably wouldn’t do it again. Of course, it’s possible that his personality will outshine this issue – and I hope it does!
I need a guy I can look up to. I did go out with a guy my height and it was just awkward.
As long as she’s not taller than me I’m good with it. I’ve gone out with several women only an inch or so shorter than me and it was okay. If she’s taller in heels I’m good with that.
I like my men taller than me. When I’m as tall or taller than a guy, I feel clunky and completely ungraceful.
I prefer guys taller than me. I’m dating a guy that’s only 1″ taller than me now & I’ve had to avoid wearing heals. He might be worth it though.
I have dated my height and taller. I am 5′8″ and I think the taller you get, the more willing you are to date a guy who is on eye level because it does get harder and harder to find someone who is 6+ inches taller than you. I also think that the mentality of those around you affects your choice as well. My parents are close in height (about an inch) and so are most of my friend’s significant others.
I’m 5′11.. and I wear heels..so that puts me at about.. 6′2 at times. Seriously.
I actually don’t care for much taller men, it freaks me out for some reason. Maybe because I’m so used to being tall. I don’t want a man that’s a foot shorter than me, but I don’t mind a few inches either way. The man I’m with now is about 5′11/6′ and I think its’s perfect.
As you know firsthand my dear, I’m 5′9. I rarely, very rarely, wear anything that doesn’t have some type of heel. I like being tall, but I will admit to having a hard time dating a man that is shortere than I am without heels on. 5′10 or more I need from a man. If not, I find myself finding him less attractive. That’s shallow, but true.
If asked what my “type” is, I’d always say tall, etc. However, I am 5′9″ and I have dated many men who are shorter than I am. I figure, if it bothered him, he wouldn’t have asked me out. All my “true” loves have been shorter than me. The guy I am dating now is shorter than me but it doesn’t really bother me. He doesn’t speak English, that is a little more bothersome. LOL!
OMG, all of you women are so predictable!
Well.. first off.. me? I’m 5′10″, AVERAGE as average can get. What do I prefer? I like women of all sizes, in fact, if she’s taller than me, I rather her be REALLY tall, as appose to only a little bit taller.
Why? It’s fun! I like night clubs, bars, whatever, and it’s FUN as hell to roll in there with one of my current GF’s. She’s blond, 5′11″ without heels. So imagine what she looks like in 3″ heels? Super tall.
Yes, it’s a “check me out with the tall hottie next to me” kind of thing juvenile fun… and?
The fact is that most women would prefer a taller man, but given the right set of “other” attributes, height gets mitigated.
Sorry to hear OneDateWonder that you had this short guy date issue. Clearly to me, it sounds like you guys weren’t having a blast (nice dinner? doesn’t sound like a fantastic time, just sounds like…eh) … eitherway, it’s his fault.
Ignoring “the tiny elephant in the room” is an example of how not to lead as a man. He should have been right up front, probably busted your chops for being amazonian (clearly not true) and just moved on from it. Hell, one of my closest friends who’s 5′6″, short but any standard for a guy, has developed a healthy dose of napolean complex and he’s the first to admit.
You wouldn’t ever feel uncomfortable around him, becuase his personality is incredibly charming and exceedingly confident from the norm. And therein is the rub…
All you ladies would relax your “height” rule in a second, given the right set of alternative charming traits.
Any of you short dudes reading these ladies comments… trust me, its not a set in stone, none of it is.
D
P.S. I love this blog for some reason. I haven’t quite put my finger on it.
I’m 5′11.5 so looking for guys a foot taller than me would leave me rather lonely. I actually have a guy friend who is 6′6″ and I find our height difference a little awkward. I always wonder how short women date tall men! If I were creating my own dream guy, I would probably make him an inch or two taller than me, but in reality, it’s not much of an issue for me. Height’s not a deal breaker. I have actually dated two guys in the past that were around 5′4″ and while I sometimes felt a little awkward about it, they were to of the most awesome guys I’ve ever dated!
I”m 5′6″. I’ve dated a guy who was 5′4″ (awkward), as well as guys 5′8″ and 5′10″ (fine). Ideally, though, a guy who’s 6′ is perfect, and a few I’ve been more or less serious about have all had that in common.
Awesome. Barb is COOL!
The rest of you all… uhm… work on it!
So then you have absolutely no physical preferences or dealbreakers in the women you date? I find this excessively hard to believe. I smell a double standard, and it’s coming from your direction.
Yes. Yes, One Date Wonder… your olfactory sense is highly tuned instrument of precision. There is a double standard at play. No question about that.
I’m going to state this boldly, and probably get some hatemail for it, but in persuit of the truth I am willing to sacrifice my gmail account!
Here goes…
Women… tend to be more forgiving about physical traits, then men.
THERE I SAID IT!!!
I can picture the “see I told you so eyes” from One Date Wonder. But common, that’s painfully obvious in modern day society. There’s nothing new here. We all know this don’t we?
Look at your own experience here.
You went out with a guy (twice?) that you have, let’s say not exactly a dealbreaker but rather an anti-perference for his height.
And yet, something ELSE about the guy attracted you to him enough to give him a chance to take you out on a nice date.
Did the date go well? If you’re giving him a second chance, I presume well enough.
But then you post this thing about your perferences, and you get a litnany of responses from your readship agreeing with you that height is a bigger deal, excluding notable exceptions.
Uh oh, I just saw this dude’s chances drop faster than the stock market. Because frankly, here’s my other Deline-ism… ready for this?
Women… tend to operate from a more “general consensus” point of view.
OMG! WTF!! What’s that suppose to mean? Means you’re more likely to do what your friends say you should do then I would (I’m a guy, yes, its true).
I KNOW!!.. it’s awful.. how I can talk about women like this?!? I mean what is this guy saying right?? Well, I can tell you its generally NOT what my other goofy guy friends typically say about women. But this blog isn’t about me…
This short guy? At the end of the day, he didn’t do such a good job on your date. It was HIS fault that this tiny “elephant” in the room didn’t disappeare.
I wasn’t there, but I’m willing to wager that himself made the issue of his height by TRYING to pretend it didn’t exist.
Had he really not cared, had he really been comfortable with himself, regardless of what you thought about the heigh issue, thus in turn… making you comfortable that its NOT such a big issue… at least not in his presense… would we have seen this post?
Be honest! I was.
Doublestandards. We all got ‘em, to one degree or another.
D
Now let me outline all the ways in which you are wrong:
1. I don’t listen to my friends. If I did, I would not have gotten married the second time and would have jettisoned Mr. Big about 9 months ago. Much to their dismay, they are support but not influence.
2. The short dude? Was totally confident. You have taken a turn of phrase I used for humorous effect and made it into a talisman of something that wasn’t. He clearly has no issue with his height. I do. And no amount of manipulation on his part will make it go away. Whether or not I choose to get over it is due to entirely internal factors which unfortunately for him, cannot be changed by anyone but me.
3. I hesitate to say I don’t have *any* double standards, but I will tell you my philosophy on life is to abhor them. And when I detect one in myself, instead of celebrating it, I strive to eliminate it. Said philosophy would not hurt your life any, for sure.
[...] Does “height” really matter? Comment left on onedatewonderland.com “Does Size Really Matter?” One Date Wonder asks [...]
1. Cool. I admire people that do what they feel they need to do, even if it goes against the grain (or sometimes in their percieved best interest). I do want to bring you attention to the following:
“Women… tend to be more”
Please note the carefully placed qualifying keyword. Nothing is ever, entirely an absolute. Your point taken nevertheless.
Wishy washy wording doesn’t save you here.
2. Wait a minute. You’re claiming there is nothing at all he could possibly say or do to convince you, internally, that height isn’t such a big deal. Is that right?
Well, then if that’s the case, then why did you go out with him to begin with? Its not like he was going to grow a few extra inches over dinner.
You didn’t listen to what I said. I said, only I can change my mind. Not that it couldn’t be changed. The point was that any of your little tricks would have been pointless, and probably would have been more likely to send me packing.
3. My philosophy on life tends to be a little more forgiving. Not all double standards are created equal.
Which is a wishy washy way of justifying doing whatever you’d like. As long as it works for you, don’t let me interfere.
Yes, it is your choice…
A) “He’s not that attractive enough to persue a romantic interest because amoung other things, he’s kind of short and that bothers me.”
OR…
B) “He’s attractive enough in other qualities that I don’t really care that he’s not my prefered height.”
From when you posted this, you were thinking B because the date went rather well. Since then, you may have changed your mind. That’s your perogative, I’m not making an point of that.
Actually, as I clearly have said here, I’m not sure how I feel about it. I have yet to make up my mind. There has been absolutely no change.
But claiming that there was nothing he could have done one way or the other, I completely disagree with.
You may disagree all you want,. however why I make a decision is not up for debate. You will still be wrong.
We don’t live in vacumes or silos. Its the interaction you had with him that weights in the most and what will most likely influence your decision about him.
I tell my guy friends to be fun, be confident, be postive, be decisive, don’t be needy, don’t complain, don’t be negative, find that passion for life and go for it… and women will find you more attractive.
Those aren’t clever tricks. That’s just how it works.
That would have been good advice had it stopped there. But making jokes about my height was one of your gems of advice on how to make me more comfortable. That would have been cocky and obnoxious and had he done it, he never would have gotten another date. Good thing he didn’t.