Comments on: There’s things I remember and things I forget

By: SinCity

SinCity — Sat, 04 Oct 2008 03:47:56 +0000

My first marriage barely lasted a year. We faked our first anniversary, split up about a week later, and my divorce was final 2 weeks before what would’ve been the second anniversary. I recall feeling indifferent realizing a few days later that it had passed virtually unnoticed.

I don’t think what you’re feeling is abnormal. But I can say it does pass. I’m happily remarried (our first anniversary was in April!) and that first marriage anniversary? total thing of the past

Oh I know. I already can’t even remember what the anniversary date of my first marriage was. I’m hoping to forget that second one all together very soon.

By: no imagination

no imagination — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 01:39:36 +0000

i am still in bitterangryhate mode. what should be my third anniversary is coming up soon. i am dreading the day. last year i received an anniversary card that said “i thought it was something i should do” right before he left for a weekend away with his married girlfriend. gag. i envy you your ability to forget and can’t wait till the day i get to where the last six years have been erased from my memory.

He is lucky you did not crumple that card up and shove it up his ass.

By: Lady Jaye

Lady Jaye — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 22:18:30 +0000

What would have been my second anniversary passed by this year a mere two months after my divorce was finalized. It was a painful day but the thing is I’m more upset about the impending anniversary of the day he told me was leaving. My guess is that day may hurt a bit more. Or I could be totally wrong and I won’t even notice when it passes by. The thing is that I know in time I won’t remember much about either day. And that I’ll be happy w/ where my life is at by then.

My second anti-versary passed a mere month after this divorce was final. I think that bothered me more than getting the papers did that year.

By: elisabeth

elisabeth — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 01:36:17 +0000

It’s kind of nice to know that you have gotten there. I really do think this anti-versary will be the first big test of the closure I think I have found.

I don’t think it’s bad. It’s just lost it’s sentimental value for you. The reality of a love lost.

The reality of love lost is much sadder than this day was for me. Here’s hoping you find the same peace in your anti-versary as I found in mine.

By: Kat

Kat — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 22:28:40 +0000

Yes, that is what it means to be over it! I cannot remember the date of my first wedding either. I am still waiting for the second marriage to become a blur though…it was just final in April so it’s going to be a little bit, but I can’t wait to get to that point.

This too shall pass.

By: Ginger

Ginger — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 21:03:06 +0000

I would have been married 11 years, and have been divorced 4-1/2. Most years the anniversary does go by with me noticing but I just shrug it off. I’ve gotta say that year 10 and — for some odd reason — this year, have been a bit rougher. Perhaps it’s because I tend to delay dealing with heavy duty grieving while I’m taking care of everybody else until finally (at a few years out) my mind won’t hold back any longer.

I hope that doesn’t discourage anybody…I may just be weird.

Nah, that’s just what happens when things aren’t dealt with up front. They sneak up later and get you. Quite normal actually.

By: Philly

Philly — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 20:33:49 +0000

It’s great that you didn’t dwell on the date. Sure, you’ll always remember your 1st marriage, but you have moved on. Go out, have a drink and Happy Anti-versary to you !!

I know it can be hard to keep track, but today was the anti-versary of my second marriage. No clue when the first one is anymore. Sometime in July, that’s all I remember.

By: Ms. Florida Transplant

Ms. Florida Transplant — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 19:59:53 +0000

I can’t tell you if it’s normal or not, but I will say that I long for the day in which the topic isn’t on my mind.

My opinion is that it doesn’t matter if you remember the date. It just matters that you learned and grew from the whole experience.

The lessons learned are not forgettable. They shape all of my relationship interactions now and always will. But the date, well…. I’m already forgetting. And the pain seems to be gone.