The End Begins
Yesterday I told Mr. Big that I wasn’t going to be able to do this for much longer. That soon I’d need more.
What followed was a conversation about how I pick the worst times and it’s not good for him right now. I told him he asks too much with no concern for anyone else. That I’ve always considered his needs and he needs to consider mine.
He asked if he should start searching for my replacement. I told him if he does that I’m gone right now. He backed down.
He said if I press it right now he’s gone. I backed down.
I know that when I tell him I need more, when I am definite, it’s over. I know I’m so stupid for not doing it sooner. I know that I should have done it months ago. And you know I wasn’t able to finish the job last night.
But I started. Give me strength. I’m worth so much more than this.
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YES YOU ARE! And he’s had his chance. He doesn’t get another one. As @goodbyegal and I like to say … NEXT!
I have a distinct feeling my next move will not be to ask for more but just to go.
You ARE worth so much more than that….we ALL are. But, I’ve been in your shoes. I know it’s not easy to just walk away, because after all - where do the feelings you have for Mr. Big go?
(((hugs)))
Like any lost love, they linger until time sweeps them away. I’ve been there before.
You know you are!:) At some point you will get tired of this back and forth bullshit and put the energy you currently give to him, toward someone who is LUCKY to have you.
We always want what we can’t have but, more importantly, how we see someone we love and how the world sees them…well, they are two very different things. It’s funny how love blinds us, isn’t it?
Be strong.
I believe you just said you have no respect for Mr. Big. And that kind of makes me laugh this morning. Thanks babe, I’m trying.
IT is a start, you know in your heart it should be done for good… not a good time for him… well, not a good time for you either, you deserve more and someone that can give and take on both terms. Hitting a roadblock, it will be a easy journey to walk away.. you will KNOW when ENOUGH is ENOUGH..your getting there girl.. stick with it. baby steps… ((hugs))
It’s hope that is the hardest to leave behind. And for some twisted reason I had so much of it. None of it based in reality.
In the immortal words of Barbara and Donna (and apparently Sunshine) “Enough is enough”
You will find the strength to leave him behind. I know it’s tough but this relationship isn’t doing you any good. So loads of luck!
Relationship is really too strong of a word. It gives Mr. Big hives in fact. I don’t think there’s really a cream for that.
Please tell yourself that you will find someone who is even better, even sexier, even nicer than Big, and he will love you and it will be better! Let Big go, he’s not the one for you.
You’re right, he isn’t. And no amount of sacrificing my self-esteem will change that fact. The only real thing to do is walk away. I know.
u know what to do - and when u r ready u will - im in the same boat as u - friends can tell u what they need to but u cant let go till u r ready - i feel for u - i really do - hey lets go get a drink and and toast to the idiots that we r leaving behind - lol - im local
I can never bring myself to celebrate endings. No matter how good, I always mourn them. Thanks for the offer though.
LOL. Like there is ever a good time to break up.
Truer words were never spoken.
Searching for your replacement? Really?! He really said that?!?!
There are better (and bigger) men out there. Really, there are. They may not want to be with you in the way you want to be with them, but they still respect and celebrate the person you are, and they know that, regardless of anything else, YOU are irreplacable.
He really did. And damn straight I am.
“Give me strength. I’m worth so much more than this.”
Ooo.. big Sigh, and goosebumps. Oh, how I’ve been there.
Such a paradigm shift when you start to stand tall, and believe in yourself. Your worth. And damn is it hard sometimes.
I’m new to reading your blog and I’m working backwards. Then I’ll jump forward and see how you’re doing, now. I wish you the best.
As of the time you made this comment, I am not doing any better with this. Sorry to say.