Comments on: Holding Back

By: Delightful

Delightful — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 16:14:01 +0000

Oh, man, I’m glad I’m not the only one! I’m trying very hard right now to be OPEN – not to let my mind get in the way of my relationship…again. Because I think that’s the biggest problem, thinking too much about it. Whenever I catch myself thinking about it too much (I really kind of like this guy – oh, but, what if he doesn’t feel the same way I do? – well, maybe I’ll ask him – no, don’t force him into a corner, then I’ll seem clingy – okay, then, I won’t be clingy, I’ll be perfectly cool, nothing can touch me, even if you don’t like me as much as I like you – hey, why are you pulling away? – because I pulled away? no I didn’t! – huh, yeah, I guess I did – wait, come back!! – fine, I don’t need you anyway – well, now I have yet another fracture in my heart…)…Whenever I catch myself thinking too much, I stop, take a breath, and try to let it go. Shake it off, don’t think so damn much, quiet the monkey mind, and get busy doing something else. It does work…sometimes…

I embrace the monkey mind. That thinking is how I protect myself.

By: Sunshine

Sunshine — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 14:19:01 +0000

I hold back and try to move on and know if I ask for help it will only get me deeper in the hole and I cannot allow myself to fall even deeper. I always have hope, but sometimes hope gets you caught in a muddy hole unable to climb out! There will be a situation that happens and it will open your eyes and help you realize although you are in love with Mr. Bigg, it just doesn’t work or click the way it should, you will move on… I know cause this moment just happened to me at the beach this past week! I will have to email you the details of the situation and we can compare notes!

Oooof, there is so much to say to this that I can’t even begin. Email me babe.

By: ModernSingleMomma

ModernSingleMomma — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 06:09:29 +0000

I’m not one to hold back when the love-bug hits. I’m very very cautious up until that point, but once my heart flashes the green light, its all systems go!

Since becoming a single mom I haven’t actually fell in love until recently– with a man from across the sea. The distance puts a natural protective measure between us, and so I am allowing myself to really get to know him and him me. (And the more I get to know him, the more in love I fall).

The true test of course will be how I deal when we are living near one another, and the day-to-dayness of my single momma life are fully revealed to him. I’ll keep you posted.

Please do. And I promise to not let my bitter rub off on you.

By: Newmie

Newmie — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 13:43:33 +0000

Sister, while I am usually your go-to source for wise-cracking, let me tell you that I hold back from most relationships out of fear. In matters of the heart, I have always relied on one theory: I like to keep my options open until someone gives me a reason not to.

Remember, you can’t change people and ultimately, people don’t change. TRUST ME when I tell you that a leopard never loses his spots no matter how much he tries. And at some point you realize that it is impossible to love someone enough for both of you.

The latter I live with every day…

Sing it sister. The point of dating is not to find someone you love and then change their annoying bits, it’s to figure out what’s wrong with someone and decide if you can live with it. Because people don’t change.

By: bambi

bambi — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 05:50:36 +0000

Beans and Rice woman!!! You move more than I do!!! LOL

I think it depends on so many things…there are men that I actually love more than when we were a couple. I guess that is why Im not even sure if people are supposed to have just one mate for all thier lives….

Timing is everything. Rarely do two people “fall in love” at exactly the same time.

Lordy, I only moved the once!

By: Lady Jaye

Lady Jaye — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 22:49:36 +0000

Oh this is so relatable. I hold back so much of myself because I have the tendecny to fall harder and faster. I put up a false bravado. I act tough, I act independent even though I have so many needs I just want to tumble out. Oh thank god. I was beginning to think it was just me.

By: Mike

Mike — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 18:15:39 +0000

I don’t hold back. However I do know that my heart is a precious thing that I attach high value to. So I don’t jump fast, but I will be honest with how I’m feeling. I’m not really caring if I hear the “I love” you response. I just know I have to be true to myself. Not quite sure if all that made sense.

Okay, now I’m starting to feel like I may be a little jaded.

By: QTMama

QTMama — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 15:21:10 +0000

I don’t know that I hold back, I just try to be realistic. I have hurt more than I ever thought possible, but yet, I still have the hope that one day, giving the trust to someone will pay off in the end. I’m either incredibly stupid or incredibly romantic. Right now I’m thinking stupid.

I don’t think you’re stupid. Optimistic is a much better word.

By: Singlegal

Singlegal — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 14:34:34 +0000

I don’t hold back – and I should. But I still content that those few moments of possibility can be worth it sometimes. We really should do more to protect our heart, but she needs a work out every now and then. I’m probably not the best example, but I’d like to believe this reckless behavoir will pay off someday!

I hope it does too.