Breaking the Rules

March 13th, 2008

Dear readers, you may be about to witness why a true One Date Wonder has rules that must be followed. We have discussed in the past the need to avoid having first date expectations, the sanity in staying emotionally detached during the time leading up to a first date, and the reasons for doing so. In case you have forgotten, let me reiterate. Creating expectations and attachments prior to a first date invariably causes let down. The guy is never what you thought he was, doesn’t look like he did in the pictures, and couldn’t cause a spark in you if he doused you in gasoline and threw a match in your general direction. Invariably he turns out to have the chemistry of someone’s cat with you and/or demonstrates some other fatal first date flaw. In the past, this has manifested as extrme cheapness, living with the parents (without good reason), boring conversationalists, bad teeth, etc. Surely you see the point. The rule is to expect nothing and don’t be surprised if that’s exactly what you get.

Alas, last night the zombie guy called me. (I tried to give him another nickname, I really did. But this one is sticky and I can’t make it go away. Just know it’s not a personality comment, it’s just about the way we met.) We talked for over an hour and a half. I finally had to outright tell him I had to get sleep and artificially cut off the conversation. He is funny. He makes me laugh. And there’s more.

Zombie guy appears to be an elusive dating sort. He knows up front what he wants. He wants a girlfriend. He is clear that he’s not going to grab the first female who bats her eyelashes at him just because, but he definitely would prefer to be in relationship. He’s clear up front about this. In between jokes and other silly declarations, this is a serious moment of conversation. And he pre-screens during that intial conversation to make sure I am not a dating dead end. He also makes it abundantly clear that he is paying for dinner. All of it. Which makes him immediately better than at least my last two dates.

I could go on, but I won’t. You get the point. I have expectations. I am a little attached to the idea of him. If the truth varies significantly from what I’m building in my mind, you will witness exactly why these rules exist. If it doesn’t, you will witness one very shocked One Date Wonder. Either way, it should be disturbing for me and amusing for you. So, you know, sit tight.