The Insinuator

You know what I am really learning to hate? The man who lacks the balls to just outright tell you something is bothering him and instead must insinuate that you are in the wrong. If you think I screwed up, muster the intestinal fortitude to tell me so. If I have an explanation, I’ll offer it. If not, I’ll apologize. But if you insist on being passive aggressive and weird about it, don’t expect me to fall at your feet drooling “I’m sorry”s.

Consider, if you will, the situation at hand. The Insinuator wanted to go out last weekend (before all insinuating had occurred). He asked when I was free. I told him that at that moment, I was open Friday night, Saturday night, or Sunday day. I also told him that my schedule was subject to change, as always. Later on, The Stalker (before all stalker tendencies surfaced) asked me out for Friday night. I said yes. Of course, The Insinuator comes back a day or two later with Friday night as his choice.

Now, I tried to be nice. I apologized when I shouldn’t really have done so. I explained that something else had come up, the other times were still free if he was interested, and said I was still genuinely interested in meeting him. And the insinuating began. First he felt the need to tell me how he was now working Friday night. He doesn’t usually you see, but decided he would switch shifts as a favor to a co-worker since I had canceled on him. Then I was treated to a long explanation as to how he doesn’t really like working weekend shifts. Then I was told about how he had no other free time that weekend. Then we rescheduled for the following Saturday. Fine, story over, right? Wrong.

Then he got stuck being on call on Saturday evening. He felt the need to write a long email explaining how even though I had flaked on him the previous weekend (softened, I suppose by the ubiquitous LOL), this was not tit for tat behavior on his part. And would I mind Saturday afternoon instead. As a matter of fact I’m free Saturday afternoon, but not for a date with The Insinuator. I wrote back to tell him in no uncertain terms that I did not flake on him. He took his time responding to the planning email and my calendar filled up while he did so. (My schedule waits for no man.) I told him my schedule can be rather fluid at times and if that was going to be a problem he needed to say so up front.

The Insinuator, of course, ignores the direct approach. He will probably email me in three days with a vague reference to me being hostile. Which is just as well since I won’t be going out with him anyway. Insinuate that.

Filed under insinuator, tales of woe |